How to Deal with Breaking Up When You’re Still in Love

Breaking up is even sadder when you’re still in love with your soon-to-be ex, but, sometimes, parting ways is truly for the best.

In order for any relationship to thrive, you need more than love. Even if you seem like a great match, you may be at different stages in life and pursuing conflicting goals. Maybe, you want to settle down and start a family, but your partner wants to travel the world.

Try these ideas to help you to deal with your breakup and continue to build a brighter future.

Short-Term Steps:

  1. Seek support. Ask your family and friends for the help you need. Talk with them in advance about your plans and how you're feeling, so they can be there for you. Let them know when you’re looking for a shoulder to cry on or just a pep-talk to get you moving

  2. Limit contact. You may eventually decide to be friends with your ex, but, right now, you’ll both benefit from keeping your distance—that includes offline and online communications.

  3. Lighten your load. Give yourself an opportunity to vent your feelings and start recovering. Try to reschedule any demanding projects for later.

  4. Clear away reminders. There will probably come a day when you’ll enjoy going through your mementos, but put them aside for now. Box up those baecation photos and love letters. Give back any clothing or personal items or donate them to charity.

  5. Practice self-care. You may be tempted to binge on chocolate cake and cable TV, but, right now, you need your strength. Eat a balanced diet, go to bed early, and exercise each day. Do whatever you need to do to re-center yourself and get back to you.

Long-Term Steps:

  1. Be realistic. It’s common to idealize your ex, but that can create a false image of your relationship. More importantly, it can set up an impossibly high standard that will keep you from being open to new possibilities in the future.

  2. Let go of regrets. If you’re blaming yourself, remember that you and your ex both played a role in how your relationship ended. Accept the facts and forgive both of you, so you can truly move on.

  3. Enjoy your freedom. Learn how to be comfortable on your own. Spend more time with family and friends. Pursue your favorite interests or discover new ones.

  4. Meet and mingle. When you’re ready to date, explore your options. Think about what you’re really looking for in a partner.

  5. Disclose your feelings. If a serious relationship starts to develop while you’re still missing your ex, let your new partner know. Being honest will give them a chance to make informed decisions and build a stronger foundation for your relationship if you decide to stay together.

  6. Address the root issues. Even if your ex remains out of the picture, you may need to deal with the issues that drove you apart. When the initial hurt has passed, evaluate your relationship to see what you can learn from it. You may want to talk with a professional if you need another point-of-view.

  7. Think positive. Keep in mind that you are worthy of love and happiness just the way you are, Queen. Projecting confidence will make it easier to keep moving forward.

Saying goodbye to someone you love can break your heart, but the good news is that it will mend. Treasure the positive aspects of your relationship and use them to inspire you to find a new love that will last.

Please, share your thoughts in the comments section below. You never know, Queen, the things you say may help others. And, don't forget to share this post!

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