Why Hurt People Hurt People

Have you ever heard the saying, “Hurt-people hurt people”? We, at Queens Healing Queens, can personally identify with this. Unfortunately, we spent a good majority of our lives being hurt and broken by those who we thought were supposed to love us.

This, initially, had a snowball effect because our reactions from past experiences led us to certain beliefs, and we ended up projecting these ideas onto others in order to protect ourselves. Basically, we began to hurt those around us too.

Now, when we see the hurt in others, instead of taking it personally for the things they do, we recognize it for what it is and love the person anyway because we’ve been there.

It’s a fact that when you know where people’s reactions to you are coming from, it’s much easier to not take it personally. It’s really not about us at all, so what do we do about this behavior? Do we just accept it or shut it down?

How to handle the hurt in others:

1. Recognize it for what it truly is.

2. Create a safe space for someone to be authentic.

3. Have open, honest communication by asking questions and sharing your feelings.

4. Choose whether you want to move forward with that person or not.

The trick is to recognize the person’s pain, but not to rescue, accept, or buy into how they want you to react. Don’t give them your power, Queen! One way to win is to love them where there are and be okay with the outcome.

Remember that hurt-people hurt people, and it’s not about you. People who are hurt often don’t love themselves enough, so they look for love and approval from others. We can always offer love to them — either in close proximity or from a distance.

Also remember that we have to be careful as we teach people how to treat us. No matter how much a person is hurting, we deserve to be loved in a way that feels good to us. Yes, hurt-people hurt people; however, they hurt themselves more, and we don’t need to feel hurt in the process as they take themselves down. You weren’t put on this earth to be anyone’s punching bag, Queen—literally or figuratively. The good news is that we can rise above  this and hopefully bring them up with us, but if not…that’s okay too. Happy healing, Queens!

For more information on how to get started, schedule your first FREE coaching session or sign up for Level 1 of the Elevation Method. It’s time to put the work in, Queen.

Please, share your thoughts in the comments section below. You never know, Queen, the things you say may help others. And, don't forget to share this post!

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